Phone sex can be hot, steamy and extremely pleasurable with a happy ending. Imagine the small talk has turned into flirting, and the flirting has turned into touching and heavy breathing. She’s wet, you’re hard, what could possibly go wrong?
Here are the top 5 things that will throw water on the heat of a hot phone sex chat.
Number 5 – Don’t talk about weird rashes or itches you might have had from previous fun with somone who gave you a dose of something
For example, you could be hard and enjoying yourself, and you suddenly thing, it’s so nice to be stroking my dick and for it not to feel all itchy and scabby.
In addition, you should probably not ask your phone sex partner, “whats the most annoying sexually transmitted infection you’ve had then?”.
Number 4 – Don’t suddenly start using names of funny foods to describe ether of your body parts.
If you suddenly start calling her boobs “lovely sweater melons”, or comparing them to a fluffy, moist bun with a cherry in the middle, it’s likely that you’ll swap sexual heat for hilarity. There’s a time and a place for clownish humour. Maybe at the beginning, but certainly not when you’re both all worked up and going for that special feeling where you can add your own frosting to that cherry bun!
Number 3 – Don’t be cheesy
She’ll know you’ve watched too many dodgy porn movies if you keep quoting them.
“Oh yeah, baby… take my hot rod. You bad girl, that’s how you like it”.
Nope! If your dirty talk is not authentically you, then it will likely sound fake and cheesy, and you’ll probably turn her off.
Number 2 – Don’t suddenly start doing silly voices
You’re stroking that cock, she’s flicking her bean and fingering herself, moaning. You’re both getting close and suddenly you think it’s a good idea to start doing cartoon voices.
You might start calling, “scoobie-doobie-doo”, or when you’ve cum, you might say “wheeeeeeeeeee”, or “T-t-t-t-t-thats all, folks”. This is silly. Get the silliness out of the way before things get steamy.
Don’t say things like, is your pussy excited? Yes? Mmmmm, let me lick it…. ECHO echo echo echo. Yes, it’s funny, but it will also kill the sexy vibes and everything will go soft.
Number 1 – The most important thing to remember NOT to say while having phone sex – Don’t talk about poop or farting.
Unless you’re having a fetish session, suddenly saying, OMG, I love to fart and maybe poop as I cum, when you’re both having a good time will probably ruin the moment. Of course, there are fetish lines and fetish specalists who would LOVE to combine an orgasm with some dedication, but if it’s been, up to this point, a normal phone sex call, don’t suddenly talk about bodily functions after you’re both turned on and masturbating.